Daily Express (5 September 2015)

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Rain but water reserves still low.

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SporTT Strapped for cash. Runaway horse at Tranquility Government Primary.

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      Facebook Twitter Instagram. There is bullshit, utter bullshit and Daily Express headlines.

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      As the website expressbingo. Madeline McCann is The same themes come round and round, the wording marginally altered. But the story that fills more front pages than any other is the weather. Express weather is not like normal weather. Express weather is what you might encounter on Mars or Venus: extreme heat or extreme cold interspersed with wild storms. That its predictions are as contradictory as they are bizarre and that they seldom come to pass seems to deter their repetition not one jot. The newspaper appears to assume that its readers have thistledown memories: no recollection of the predictions it made even a few days before.

      Given that people continue to buy this rubbish, it may, unfortunately, be right. Needless to say, the story was helpfully illustrated with pictures of young women in bikinis, in case we could not otherwise imagine what a heatwave might be like. No winter approaches without predictions in the Express of Snowmageddon.


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      Needless to say, it was all bollocks with bells on. Temperatures for central England in every month of the winter just passed were slightly higher than average. There were no abnormal snow events, and no plagues of frogs, boils, lobsters or aliens. All rather disappointing in fact. But even the Express is not prepared simply to pluck this clickbait out of thin air. It must be able to quote an authority, however flimsy their credibility may be. So it leans on a number of people who call themselves forecasters, but some of whose credentials appear difficult to establish.

      For a while, such stories made abundant use of a man called Jonathan Powell, who ran a company called Positive Weather Solutions. After I revealed in the Guardian that the forecasters employed by this company did not exist , but had made-up names attached to stock shots of models, Positive Weather Solutions shortly closed down. That company also closed after bad publicity.

      He now runs a firm called Principality Weather , which appears to feature only in the Welsh press, and then rarely.